🍕My First Job Out of College Required Me to Rub Cream on an 100-Year-Old Man, but at Least I Wasn’t a Pizza Delivery Boy ðŸ•

life-after-college

When I graduated college, I believed that the world was my oyster. What I later found out was that the world was my oyster, but only in the sense that I needed to find the pearl ASAP, so I could sell it in order make my next student loan payment. Upon graduation, I honestly believed … Continue reading 🍕My First Job Out of College Required Me to Rub Cream on an 100-Year-Old Man, but at Least I Wasn’t a Pizza Delivery Boy ðŸ•

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The Shawshank Redemption: Nursing Home Edition

anxiety about getting older

If you need a long-term panic attack, I highly suggest living beside a nursing home. In my case, the situation is comparable to a cute young couple who find out 10 minutes into a horror movie that their surprisingly cheap new home is possessed with ancient demons. Naively, I couldn't believe it when I found an … Continue reading The Shawshank Redemption: Nursing Home Edition

How a Doll Named Puddin’ and Her French Sisters Fueled My Childhood Nightmares for Years

When I was a little girl, my grandmother gave me a present that fueled my nightmares for years. Her name was Puddin', not to be mistaken for Pudding, which is something I actually enjoy. To this day, I'm terrified of babies and dolls, so I just want to take this opportunity to thank my mom … Continue reading How a Doll Named Puddin’ and Her French Sisters Fueled My Childhood Nightmares for Years

Channeling My Inner Haley Joel Osment at One of Savannah’s Weirdest Airbnb’s

About a year and a half ago, I fell in love with the city of Savannah, Georgia. Basically, Savannah is forged from the mind of someone who is seriously dark and demented, but also into super cute and pretty stuff, too. If that doesn't sound like me, I don't know what does. Everywhere you step … Continue reading Channeling My Inner Haley Joel Osment at One of Savannah’s Weirdest Airbnb’s

I Survived a Close Encounter with a Bear… and Almost Sh*tting Myself

Have you ever stared into the pit-less eyes of a black bear? Me neither, because I was too busy running to the other side of the bridge to get away from it. Actually, I was such a little bitch, that the video I have of this epic wildlife encounter is just the camera going everywhere … Continue reading I Survived a Close Encounter with a Bear… and Almost Sh*tting Myself

What’s Josh Groban Got to Do with a Dead Chicken at a French Restaurant?

It looked like someone had just murmured, "Sleeeeeeppppp," into its very visible earhole, while smothering it with a tiny pillow. I couldn't stop staring at its closed eyes, which featured actual blonde eyelashes. The chicken was laying on it's stomach, beak pointing north, with one eye facing towards me. If the octopus hadn't murdered my … Continue reading What’s Josh Groban Got to Do with a Dead Chicken at a French Restaurant?