New Zealand is basically like Australia's cooler younger brother. There's no poisonous creatures lurking in the bushes determined to kill you, the beaches and coasts are just as gorgeous, and to be perfectly honest, the people are way more attractive. Sorry, Australia. It's just true. In October, my kiwi boyfriend asked me to go visit … Continue reading Riding in a Creeper Van on the Way to New Zealand, Visiting Akaroa, and Attempting to Eat White Bait
This past weekend, I decided to drive up to LA to hangout with one of my friends who lives there. Although I try to avoid this place like the plague, I knew that having dinner there would mean we could actually go somewhere a bit off the beaten path. Ultimately, my restaurant choice was more like … Continue reading I Accidentally Went to a Restaurant Entirely Made Out of Garlic
I decided to start off the New Year by taking on the challenge of owning a new pet. I felt like my pet fish, Baby Drac Drac, was getting a bit lonely and he needed a companion to keep him company during the day. In the beginning, Dracula was sort of a test trial pet, … Continue reading I Got Attacked By a Demon-Possessed Cat, Here’s How it Went
After graduating from college, I moved to Nashville, and developed my own #meToo story, filled with sexual harassment and an attempt to dissolve my self esteem. My first real job was as an assistant to a wannabe business mogul who owned a recruiting company. At the interview, he seemed normal and nice. There was nothing … Continue reading My First Sexual Harassment: A Coming of Age Story
Giving a speech under the influence of drugs and/or alcohol is always a bad idea. Take it from me, kids.
In 9th grade, I had the body of a 32-year-old woman, the eyebrows of a lunatic, and the style of an Abercrombie and Fitch catalog from circa 2004. The cherry on top? I just moved schools. I only really knew a couple of people before I moved, so I was open to making new friends. … Continue reading Mean Boys: All My Friends in High School Were Gay Men. It Was Awesome.
When I graduated college, I believed that the world was my oyster. What I later found out was that the world was my oyster, but only in the sense that I needed to find the pearl ASAP, so I could sell it in order make my next student loan payment. Upon graduation, I honestly believed … Continue reading 🍕My First Job Out of College Required Me to Rub Cream on an 100-Year-Old Man, but at Least I Wasn’t a Pizza Delivery Boy 🍕