Ever since I was a little girl, I've loved blackberries. When I was growing up, there was actually a blackberry bush right outside my house. It grew along a muscadine vine wrapped around our chain link fence, which housed our famed enormous Great Danes. I remember being very small, maybe seven or eight-years-old, and picking... Continue Reading →

As a child, because I was quite literally a child, puberty was a horrific experience. I will lead by saying that I got my period in fifth grade as an ELEVEN-YEAR-OLD. I don't know what God was thinking when he made me fertile at such a young age, but I honestly thought I was dying.... Continue Reading →

About a month ago, I went on, hands down, the worst date of my life. Never mind, it wasn't even a bad date. Instead, it was basically like someone transported me into my own personal version of hell for nearly an hour. A little background information about the situation: I'd been seeing this dude for a... Continue Reading →

I first began my struggle with religion as a little girl. I found the whole thing silly. So much so, that I once got in trouble for singing hymnals in the style of a decrepit church lady. Realistically, it could've been anyone singing, though. The students at my private school were the only people in the... Continue Reading →

It was a brisk, yet sunny Saturday morning and my immediate waking thought was to throw my favorite necklace into the bottom of the Pacific Ocean. Seriously. I opened my eyes and was like, "Opal. Ocean. Done." I'd been watching too much Big Little Lies, but in my defense, that's a great show and reenacting some of those scenes... Continue Reading →

When I moved to California, the prospect of a relationship genuinely gave my acid reflux. I had just stopped talking to my ex and I wasn’t ready for commitment at all. I was subjected to a considerate number of shirtless pictures featuring his fresh new abs and a waxed or shaved? chest. Champagne bottles were... Continue Reading →

In my defense, I didn’t know that boob massages were a thing. We all hear about those notorious trips to Thailand, but we weren’t in Phuket and I didn’t make a reservation to get Phuked either. Before I boarded the airplane from Sydney to Denpasar, I imagined that I was about to Eat, Pray, Love... Continue Reading →