D.A.R.E. for Adults: Never Give a Speech Under the Influence. Unless, You’re Shia LaBeouf. Then It’s Okay.

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Giving a speech under the influence of drugs and/or alcohol is always a bad idea. Take it from me, kids.

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🍕My First Job Out of College Required Me to Rub Cream on an 100-Year-Old Man, but at Least I Wasn’t a Pizza Delivery Boy ðŸ•

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When I graduated college, I believed that the world was my oyster. What I later found out was that the world was my oyster, but only in the sense that I needed to find the pearl ASAP, so I could sell it in order make my next student loan payment. Upon graduation, I honestly believed … Continue reading 🍕My First Job Out of College Required Me to Rub Cream on an 100-Year-Old Man, but at Least I Wasn’t a Pizza Delivery Boy ðŸ•

How a Doll Named Puddin’ and Her French Sisters Fueled My Childhood Nightmares for Years

When I was a little girl, my grandmother gave me a present that fueled my nightmares for years. Her name was Puddin', not to be mistaken for Pudding, which is something I actually enjoy. To this day, I'm terrified of babies and dolls, so I just want to take this opportunity to thank my mom … Continue reading How a Doll Named Puddin’ and Her French Sisters Fueled My Childhood Nightmares for Years

Channeling My Inner Haley Joel Osment at One of Savannah’s Weirdest Airbnb’s

About a year and a half ago, I fell in love with the city of Savannah, Georgia. Basically, Savannah is forged from the mind of someone who is seriously dark and demented, but also into super cute and pretty stuff, too. If that doesn't sound like me, I don't know what does. Everywhere you step … Continue reading Channeling My Inner Haley Joel Osment at One of Savannah’s Weirdest Airbnb’s

I Survived a Close Encounter with a Bear… and Almost Sh*tting Myself

Have you ever stared into the pit-less eyes of a black bear? Me neither, because I was too busy running to the other side of the bridge to get away from it. Actually, I was such a little bitch, that the video I have of this epic wildlife encounter is just the camera going everywhere … Continue reading I Survived a Close Encounter with a Bear… and Almost Sh*tting Myself

The Time I Thought I Was Going to Become an Orphan, but Instead Got Interrogated About a Crime

Growing up, I would definitely say I was sheltered, but that changed pretty quickly when a new family moved into the Lintons' old house. I don't remember much about them, except that my golden retriever, Sam, invited himself to their son's fifth birthday party. He then proceeded to massacre a pack of newborn wiener dogs … Continue reading The Time I Thought I Was Going to Become an Orphan, but Instead Got Interrogated About a Crime