How a Magical Talking Pen Turned Me Into a Childhood Bully

bully

I flew out of my mom's child bride-sized body a month after she turned 20. Oddly enough, her pregnancy was planned, since she wanted to have kids before the end of the world. Yes, you heard that correctly. When I asked her a few years ago why she decided to have children at such a … Continue reading How a Magical Talking Pen Turned Me Into a Childhood Bully

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Stop Overcompensating for Your Sh*tty Relationship on Facebook

drake quotes relationship bad

First of all, I want to preface that this post is in no shape, form, or fashion about oneย  person or a couple in particular. I see this weekly, if not daily. And I know you all do, too. With that also being said, if the shoe fits, mutha fuggin' wear it with pride, because … Continue reading Stop Overcompensating for Your Sh*tty Relationship on Facebook

๐Ÿ•My First Job Out of College Required Me to Rub Cream on an 100-Year-Old Man, but at Least I Wasn’t a Pizza Delivery Boy ๐Ÿ•

life-after-college

When I graduated college, I believed that the world was my oyster. What I later found out was that the world was my oyster, but only in the sense that I needed to find the pearl ASAP, so I could sell it in order make my next student loan payment. Upon graduation, I honestly believed … Continue reading ๐Ÿ•My First Job Out of College Required Me to Rub Cream on an 100-Year-Old Man, but at Least I Wasn’t a Pizza Delivery Boy ๐Ÿ•

The Shawshank Redemption: Nursing Home Edition

anxiety about getting older

If you need a long-term panic attack, I highly suggest living beside a nursing home. In my case, the situation is comparable to a cute young couple who find out 10 minutes into a horror movie that their surprisingly cheap new home is possessed with ancient demons. Naively,ย I couldn't believe it when I found an … Continue reading The Shawshank Redemption: Nursing Home Edition

How a Doll Named Puddin’ and Her French Sisters Fueled My Childhood Nightmares for Years

When I was a little girl, my grandmother gave me a present that fueled my nightmares for years. Her name was Puddin', not to be mistaken for Pudding, which is something I actually enjoy. To this day, I'm terrified of babies and dolls, so I just want to take this opportunity to thank my mom … Continue reading How a Doll Named Puddin’ and Her French Sisters Fueled My Childhood Nightmares for Years