First of all, I want to preface that this post is in no shape, form, or fashion about one person or a couple in particular. I see this weekly, if not daily. And I know you all do, too. With that also being said, if the shoe fits, mutha fuggin' wear it with pride, because... Continue Reading →
I decided to start off the New Year by taking on the challenge of owning a new pet. I felt like my pet fish, Baby Drac Drac, was getting a bit lonely and he needed a companion to keep him company during the day. In the beginning, Dracula was sort of a test trial pet,... Continue Reading →
After graduating from college, I moved to Nashville, and developed my own #meToo story, filled with sexual harassment and an attempt to dissolve my self esteem. My first real job was as an assistant to a wannabe business mogul who owned a recruiting company. At the interview, he seemed normal and nice. There was nothing... Continue Reading →
Giving a speech under the influence of drugs and/or alcohol is always a bad idea. Take it from me, kids.
When I graduated college, I believed that the world was my oyster. What I later found out was that the world was my oyster, but only in the sense that I needed to find the pearl ASAP, so I could sell it in order make my next student loan payment. Upon graduation, I honestly believed... Continue Reading →
If you need a long-term panic attack, I highly suggest living beside a nursing home. In my case, the situation is comparable to a cute young couple who find out 10 minutes into a horror movie that their surprisingly cheap new home is possessed with ancient demons. Naively, I couldn't believe it when I found an... Continue Reading →
When I was a little girl, my grandmother gave me a present that fueled my nightmares for years. Her name was Puddin', not to be mistaken for Pudding, which is something I actually enjoy. To this day, I'm terrified of babies and dolls, so I just want to take this opportunity to thank my mom... Continue Reading →
Based on a recent traveling experience, let me tell you how much I hate people. On my way back from Seattle, there was a woman sitting next to me on the plane, who felt the need to wrap pretzels in not one, but about nine plastic bags. This meant that every time she reached in... Continue Reading →