How a Magical Talking Pen Turned Me Into a Childhood Bully

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I flew out of my mom's child bride-sized body a month after she turned 20. Oddly enough, her pregnancy was planned, since she wanted to have kids before the end of the world. Yes, you heard that correctly. When I asked her a few years ago why she decided to have children at such a … Continue reading How a Magical Talking Pen Turned Me Into a Childhood Bully

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Shower Praying My Way Through Life

shower prayer noun [sh-ou-wer pr-ay-er] The formalized act of spiritual cleansing performed when one desperately prays in the shower to a higher power.  Example: I sat down in the shower and did a lengthy 40-minute shower prayer that brought me into direct communication with the divine. I felt at peace with my life and for … Continue reading Shower Praying My Way Through Life

When Life Gives You Potholes, Sponsored by Luke Bryan Gifs

Recently, I fell into a pothole. While I wish that was a metaphor, it’s not, because my life is actually a dumpster fire that refuses to burn out. Either way, I like to think that God personally chose me to fall into the San Andreas Fault in front of a group of innocent bystanders and … Continue reading When Life Gives You Potholes, Sponsored by Luke Bryan Gifs