On Wednesday night, I arrived back in California after a short visit to Fort Lauderdale. A few weeks before, I was complaining to my boyfriend about how boring people in California are and that I didn't have much to write about these days. Everyone I know works so hard to maintain an Instagram image and … Continue reading The Moon Isn’t Real, Donald Trump is a Reptilian Alien, and Other Stories by My Lyft Driver
New Zealand is basically like Australia's cooler younger brother. There's no poisonous creatures lurking in the bushes determined to kill you, the beaches and coasts are just as gorgeous, and to be perfectly honest, the people are way more attractive. Sorry, Australia. It's just true. In October, my kiwi boyfriend asked me to go visit … Continue reading Riding in a Creeper Van on the Way to New Zealand, Visiting Akaroa, and Attempting to Eat White Bait
After graduating from college, I moved to Nashville, and developed my own #meToo story, filled with sexual harassment and an attempt to dissolve my self esteem. My first real job was as an assistant to a wannabe business mogul who owned a recruiting company. At the interview, he seemed normal and nice. There was nothing … Continue reading My First Sexual Harassment: A Coming of Age Story
Giving a speech under the influence of drugs and/or alcohol is always a bad idea. Take it from me, kids.
When I graduated college, I believed that the world was my oyster. What I later found out was that the world was my oyster, but only in the sense that I needed to find the pearl ASAP, so I could sell it in order make my next student loan payment. Upon graduation, I honestly believed … Continue reading 🍕My First Job Out of College Required Me to Rub Cream on an 100-Year-Old Man, but at Least I Wasn’t a Pizza Delivery Boy 🍕
If you need a long-term panic attack, I highly suggest living beside a nursing home. In my case, the situation is comparable to a cute young couple who find out 10 minutes into a horror movie that their surprisingly cheap new home is possessed with ancient demons. Naively, I couldn't believe it when I found an … Continue reading The Shawshank Redemption: Nursing Home Edition
Have you ever stared into the pit-less eyes of a black bear? Me neither, because I was too busy running to the other side of the bridge to get away from it. Actually, I was such a little bitch, that the video I have of this epic wildlife encounter is just the camera going everywhere … Continue reading I Survived a Close Encounter with a Bear… and Almost Sh*tting Myself